Firstly, Teenagers, again, not the same ones this time though. This one is a solitary little fuckwit who I spotted on a rage filled stroll through town, which I'm going to elaborate on a little later. Anyways back to this poor sap, who, although was in a crowd of 4 or 5, which, is usually just enough to get my old-man portion of my brain want to stand there shaking my fist at "them young un's" who are "up to no good, no doubt" (which while at almost 29 and a half I'm aware how ridiculous this sounds, but I was one of those young un's up to no good once and am equally aware of how I could go from innocence to being a fucking idiot faster than Madonna's career can go down the shitter), he managed to single himself out as if begging for me to write something offensive and one sided about him on the tinterwebs, I hope he's not mentally ill or this will be quite bad..... The little hipster prick was wearing sunglasses! How dare he? I'm fully aware you're probably used to looking at life through the Instagram preview screen, but that doesn't mean you should try to apply "filters" to everything.
For people who don't live in the UK, and are thinking "But it's summer!", me and the rest of the country had a meeting as to how to properly respond to that, and we felt the only genuine reply is FUCK YOU! You see, my foreign friends, this year, we had a week of moderately hot weather in late spring and since then the various regions have taken it in turn to take part in what I can only describe as a very soggy bukakke. (I had to google the spelling of that last word, don't recommend it) It had been raining pretty solidly all day, admittedly though, we had glimpsed that fire demon hovering above us that we've all become kind of weary of a few times, but there's no excusing ridiculously unnecessary apparel. I'm in no way sorry to admit a little bit of me was hoping to hear of a teenager hit by a black car he couldn't see because of his sunglasses the next morning when I woke up and watched the news.
Anyway, earlier I mentioned about a rage filled stroll that was briefly broken up by hipster kid and the main reason for my annoyance appeared to me like a vision through my rain soaked vision (okay, the fiance pointed it out) but the moment I saw it I almost shit a pack of rabid badgers, and here's the reason behind it...
OH REALLY? try fucking praying indeed, seriously, I know of your church, I know of other churches, and what goes on inside them and I wouldn't mind if you said that to me if I was inside one of those "establishments" seeking your services but I don't want it on my street offending my vision. Mainly because I find it very presumptuous for the sign/banner thingy to automatically assume I haven't already tried that at some point, and believe me I have for various reasons, on various occasions and I'm pretty certain everyone has said a silent prayer to whatever deity they think has the best chance of hearing them. On a lesser level this, thing, offends me just for the timing of it's placement. It's our little town's festival week kind of thing, and this monstrosity of organized fear has appeared just in time to catch all the people who might be in need of god but hadn't notcied THE GIANT FUCKING CHURCH SPIRE hidden really well behind the sign. I mean shouldn't the church have this up all year round instead of gifting it to those people one week a year? If I've offended any Christians, it's okay, they've got to forgive me :)
Then again, thinking about it now, I could be taking it all out of context, it could just be a warning to anyone unfamiliar with our towns excellent public transport schedule wanting to catch a bus out of here.
Okay, it's late, and tomorrow is a HUUUUGE day for me. A fire will rise, and if there are too many kids all hopped up on sweets and fizzy drinks when I'm watching The Dark Knight Rises the cinema will regret not having got rid of the flippy up seats while some poor usher is picking a "young 'uns" brains off a seat. Get that stickyness out of the carpet....
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